Old Friends, New Paths...

Next week I am having a baby shower. The two women throwing it, Heather Clements and Mary Straits, are among my dearest friends.

I met Heather my freshman year at Queens College in Charlotte. She was my RA and had a penchant for Winnie the Pooh decorations. When staying in 333 Albright Hall was more difficult that my 17 year old heart could sustain, Heather was the welcoming smile that made sure I never sat alone in the cafeteria. When I became violently ill with a stomach bug and had to go to the local E.R., Heather had all necessary information, from the date of my last cycle to my insurance coverage to my parents' contact information (a rather hefty feat in the days before cell phones and "i.c.e." contacts). I went on to introduce Heather to another friend of mine, who is now her husband for several years and the father of her 2 children. I got to stand up next to them as they gave their lives to one another. I drove to Charlotte the day after she was discharged from the hospital when she delivered her first child so I could snuggle the first of my "adopted" nephews early on. I rejoiced when they moved to Wake County to be near family and was eager to help her settle into the beautiful new home they went on to build on family land. I've watched her labor tirelessly in an effort to be the best Kindergarten or 1st grade teach (whichever she had to be to best serve her district) and handle the most outlandish scenarios with the greatest of southern grace and elegance. When I have been frustrated by my own life path and the winding trajectory it takes, Heather (and her husband) have consistently opened their home, hearts, and arms to me. Heather and her family have built and continue to build the life they want and, even as the paths they take are new, the old friendship remains.

The other friend throwing the shower is my friend, Mary. Mary and I met when we were both fresh-faced and ready to save the world in Miami in 2002. I thought I was destined to live among the Cubans and salsa dance through life. My best friend and confidant, however, came in the form of a blonde woman from South Carolina. Mary and I became workout buddies and would take meandering walks in our paradise home. We shared a mutual love of Sal's Pizza on the boardwalk in Hollywood, Florida. As she dated her husband, I got to stand alongside her as she struggled to come to terms with the various barriers they had to overcome. As I struggled with my own decisions, she would offer calm, cool, and collected insight. While she planned her wedding, I got the honor of being the only bridesmaid who lived in town and was there when she picked out her wedding dress. On the day of her wedding, I did her hair. When she and her husband bought their first home, I was able to help her decide on paint chips. We established regular meals of chicken and eggplant parmesan. We worked together at a private school and enjoyed car trips through neighborhoods full of school zones and bad gas station cappuccino stops. When she and her husband decided to move to Wake County, I was their eyes as I visited houses they potentially wanted to buy and provided them with reports from a "real" point of view instead of a "real estate" point of view. When Mary went through the in vitro fertilization process that was required for her to have children, I was privy to her fears and hopes and got to live alongside her and her husband in the process. I held their son early in his life and made sure his daddy was sustained during the labor/delivery process, as he went to the hospital straight from work (Mary was picking up some razors for me at the store when her water broke!). Mary's path has become new several times, but our friendship remains.

These women have stood next to me as I wander down new paths. I seem to be the one who constantly changes and is seemingly always on a "new path." The process of finding myself and being happy with myself has taken me a bit longer, it seems. I would say that the process is still not anywhere near complete. This pregnancy is not only a "new path," but one that I was not planning on venturing down for many many years. However, I am able to say that wandering down these "new paths" loses some of its cringe-worthiness when I know I have some great "old friends" who will be available and show support.