And, we're back...

We FINALLY have internet! I feel like I've been given an award! "I'd like to thank God... without Him, this would not be possible... Also, my husband... for raising hell when needed... oh gosh... I don't want to leave anyone out..."

I've been thinking a lot during my blogging silence about the things I want to write in my first entry since engaging in the next step of adulthood and subsequent journey into the land of internet purgatory. I have an entry to write about how sentimental it was to watch our first marital home stripped as we moved on to our first foray into home-ownership. I want to write about the excitement of furnishing and decorating. I want to tell about the Thanksgiving dinner I got to host and the stomach bug that caused me to wretch my guts the day after. I want to submit an entry about the new decade I began on Thursday, when I turned THIRTY years old. I want to let everyone know about the incessant moving I can now regularly detect in my body that makes me smile and giggle. I want to write about the sweet moments I am sharing with my niece and nephew before they move north and the understanding I share with my brother as we both move forward, but never in the same geographical location.

I have a lot of words to get out.

However, on Tuesday, November 30, I encountered something that should not be reduced to words, but cannot be ignored in the words I want to pour out.

My sister in law lost her baby. As those who read my blog know, her pregnancy was an encouragement and great source of joy to me. Jess and her husband, Matt, are joys to me. Their loss is devastating to think about and their pain is nearly tangible to me. I do not want to diminish their experience by trying to describe the experience in fallible similes and pedestrian metaphors. However, the bravery of Jess, who was forced to experience labor since she was so far along, and the sadness I feel for her, for the loss of my new little nephew, and for the cousin my baby will never know has to be articulated. I love my husband's family as my own more than ever as a result of this experience, but hate the pain that knits me to them at this time.

And then, there must be joy in the morning...