1 in a Million (literally): 5 weeks later...

These 5 weeks have been the toughest and most worthwhile weeks of my life. I know it's a cliche, but this child has redefined what I value, love, know, hope, and desire in every possible way. I have felt like a complete failure and then on top of the world - several different times. There is no way for me to summarize what has happened, but it should suffice to say that I am challenged on a regular basis in a new, real way nearly hourly. Here are a few of the highlights:

*Breastfeeding: I am so thankful for La Leche League. When it was looking hopeless and dark, a kind woman named Cecily met me and my mother, gave insight, and encouraged me. While I am still dealing with regular pain associated with the act of feeding my child, he chomps like a champ and regularly enjoys his meals "straight from the source." I find this act strange, but rewarding. I'm happy for the normalcy and natural feeling it provides to motherhood.

*Travel: Nathaniel had a performance of his PhD piece in Boston on May 7. His whole family and mine traveled to Boston for it - including little Auggi. He endured a trip up Highway 95 and back down - a total of more than 24 hours in the car. We slept in several locations, including several friends'/family's houses and hotels. We toured and walked and arranged for food and were awake for extended periods of time. And Auggi was a trooper. As I told my mother in law, it is an event I could NEVER imagine doing again, but would not have missed for the world.

*Sleep: I am prepared for every other mother to hate me about my good sleep fortune with this child. He typically eats around 12 midnight and will sleep until 5 or 6 am. After that feeding, he will typically sleep for another 3 hours or so. During the day, he wakes to feed closer to the typical 3 hours... but the nights are not terrible at all. My parents are fond of mocking my tendency and desire to have Auggi sleep near me at all times. It is not behavioral yet, and he is my only newborn... I don't feel like I have to put him in his own space just yet...

*Recovery: I am starting to feel able to move, although still slow. The C Section still makes speed bumps and road disturbances very painful. I am off of all pain killers and trying to stay that way. Emotionally, I still feel overwhelmed easily and can cry like no one's business. Also, Nathaniel and I had our first date night last weekend to see the North Carolina Symphony perform Mahler's 9th Symphony. I sobbed during the last movement. Do not mix post partum hormones and the divinity of Mahler...

We have our 1 month check up Thursday. I'll post more about him after that appointment. We also have a follow up Echocardiogram to monitor the murmur in his heart. We've started paying the medical bills and I am returning to work this week. I am still tired and regularly require naps. Although I am (at last check) 2 pounds LOWER than my prepartum weight, I have to wait until May 25 to get medical clearance at my 6 week check up to resume all normal activities. Hector has adjusted, Nathaniel is old hat at this fathering thing, and we're finding a rhythm (although it seems we have a change in circumstance every time we find our rhythm, causing us to find another rhythm). We have tickets to NY for our family reunion over Memorial Day weekend... Also, I have been accepted to the Master of International Studies program at NC State University and will be going back to school in the fall... life is insane and moving forward. Auggi is happy and healthy and reaching developmental milestones at a RAPID rate - a little ahead of schedule if you'll forgive my bragging :) My mother and father in law will be visiting for 2 weeks starting June 1, so the adoration is only set to increase from here on in! I am hoping blogging will become central to my pattern again, as I find writing both therapeutic and useful for keeping the whole family up to date. Until then, enjoy a few glimpses of what's been going on...